Laundry Day

My washing machine (wachine mashine?) is still broken, so I went to the laundry place down the street. I rather hate the word laundromat, so laundry place can and does suffice. Point is, I bought a bunch of quarters, which is always a good time, and before realizing that my drier is still in perfect condition, began drying my clothes at the laundry place. Doing laundry in public is the absolute worst, and I've been avoiding it all week, and it is just as bad as I expected. Loads of people skirting around each other in a public place, trying to hide their personal dirties. Add to this the fact that LA is image-conscious and s different sort of culture than what I'm used to, and you've got yourself Xaney-fest 2009. I'm trying to calm down before I go remove my clothes from the two driers and continue my quest for a job.

Here we are four hours later and I'm still not calm. Bear with me for a moment while I describe panic. Sometimes confronting the beast helps.
When I get panicked, it's for one of two reasons--the big one being people. With people, which is the sort of panic I am feeling today, it usually feels as though I am a piece of silly putty and three or four grubby little kids have decided to stretch me at the same time. Inevitably, when silly putty stretches, holes form where it gets too thin--no group of little grubbers takes the time to stretch it evenly. These holes are the panic, and as I allow myself to be stretched, the hole grows. Eventually, these holes spread and cause the silly putty to tear. If I allow myself to be stretched any farther, I will have a big panic moment--sometimes referred to as a panic attack. Which is about as dumb as laundromat. So, what it comes down to is this: in the laundry place, I felt panicked. While driving, I felt panicked. When at the mall... but honestly, this one shouldn't count because anyone who isn't sketched out by the mall is probably the crazy one. But then I sit at my computer and I've got three different people making plans tonight, and I remember tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and why that matters I don't know, and I have to write 30 pages (no big thing) but then you see how it is... That hole just got huge. All in my head. And somehow, I have to roll myself back together. So that's it. It's vaguely senseless, but it's been a part of my day, and I suppose a lot of people find themselves in similar situations. And Whitman said to cast our webs, to connect our spheres, and we will feel less lonely. And I believe him.

In other news: this week's bit of nouning will be a recap of the movie Coraline. So now we all have something we can anticipate. Yeah!