Friday, October 30, 2009

November around the bend

So, I'm dreading this November. November away from home and friends is the worst - not that I've ever experienced it, but when I think that I will be 21, not celebrating with people my age in my state, and that I will first have suffered Thanksgiving and a lonely night of recognition, I am not looking forward to it.
In response to November Hell (or in an attempt to make it not hell), I have decided to pen my biography in segments, every day, for this month. Apparently, there are a lot of folks who write in their blogs every day in November, so I thought, since I basically own the month in having my birthday at the tail end, I'll finally lay it all out for everyone. My fantastical, romantic, tragic, hilarious, marvelous, super duper life.

And you're in for a treat.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Waiting Game

I had a job interview on Friday. It went well. I'm waiting to hear back. And waiting. And waiting. The worst part is that this is a job I want more than any other entry-level position I've applied for in Hollywood. It is an assistant position at Beacon Pictures for Suzann - the wonderful woman for whom I interned in between my producing and directing classes. I love the company, I love their films, and I have so much respect for Suzann. There are people applying with more work experience, but I think I have the best work ethic for the job. I would work so hard for Suzann and this company because I actually care. I also have a lot riding on this. Two of my references are very close to her and the company, and I would hate to disappoint them. I know the company's projects in development since I was an interned and covered all those projects. I could keep going, but it does little good and it makes me more anxious. So I'll just keep waiting.

On the upside, some of my impatience was sated when my shoes and dvds - bought courtesy of the Jinks/Cohen Company - arrived in the mail this week. Thank you Amazon! I got the cutest pumps to match my dress for the Chicago Impact Awards, and I got Baz Luhrmann's Red Curtain Trilogy and Pare Lorentz's WPA documentaries about the Midwest! One is called The River and actually features footage from my hometown. It made me cry when I watched it to see my River. I miss it so much.

So that's it right now. Waiting and waiting and waiting. I'm like Chuck Norris... I don't sleep because I'm anxiety-ridden and waiting for SOMETHING to happen.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I'm Sick and You'd Better Stay Out of My Way

When I'm sick, there are two things that make me feel better: food and yelling at people.
Normally, I have a very small appetite (unless there is a plate of chili cheese fries in front of me), and I'd rather just find a corner and cry, but not when I'm sick. No no. Today, I ate four bowls of three different kids of soup, a turkey burger, sweet potato fries, leftover pizza, cheesepuffs, a Twix bar (or two Twix bars, I guess), and a bowl of cereal. That's like a week of meals.
I also had to drive to the auto repair shop today. During morning rush. Those people can die. I hate Land Rovers. Suck a fat one, Land Rover drivers - you're probably stupid and you'll have stupid babies and you're the reason this world is stupid.
It doesn't help that I had a shit weekend at work in which I got in trouble twice for server's mistakes and manager's mistakes. I hate being at the bottom of the restaurant totem pole. I also hate getting in trouble for refusing to help customers who are rude to both other patrons and my servers. In what world should those people get my time of day?
I'm also incredibly nervous. Friday, I have a job interview for a job I would truly love as an assistant for a woman I really respect. To my readers who are praying people: drop a line to the Big Guy for me (or Big Gal - hell, let's clear this up: Big Celestial Being). To those who don't pray, keep me in your thoughts.
To those who actually read this: really? Awesome.
So I'm feeling sarcastic and pissy and PMS-y (yes, PMS exists, and if you wish to argue that, I wish to punch you in the face. Point proven). Yep. That about sums it up (cough cough, hack hack)

Haha. Have a wonderful night.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Where the Wild Things Are, there is not plot

I went to Where the Wild Things Are last night and just wanted to have a wonderful time. It was a nice time, but the movie just fell flat. I mean pancake or crepe flat.

There was absolutely no plot, it was sad all the way through, and I have so many unanswered questions.
Why did The Bull not have a name? Why didn't he speak? How come he was by himself the whole time?
Little Max had a chance to make things better for the island's lonely monsters, and while he fixed things for Alexander, he fell terribly flat with the poor bull. He also never really had fun on the island. It made me more sad than it did happy, and that's not the spirit of the book. The book was dark and dangers for a bit, sure, but it's not Coraline, and you can respect kids and still have moments of happiness in a film. In fact, every film needs a couple happy moments so people stay engaged. It just got to the point where it felt long. I fell out of the movie world and into the theater too many times.

I guess I'm disappointed. It was a movie made for dirty little hipsters and film students so they can gush over Spike Jonze, not a movie that honored the book and brought its excitement to a whole new generation.

Where is plot? Have writers forgotten how important it is? In my recent readings and watchings, they seem to care more about gushing over how awesome they are for creating the characters and the world and forget to do something with those elements that will make them effective.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Last Names

Yesterday, I had a conversation with my mom. We discussed my cousin and her two daughters and how none of them have the same last name. Then it occured to us how very arbitrary last names are. So, maybe someday, I will legally change my last name. And when I do, I want my new name to rhyme. So I proposed this to my friend Nathaniel today: Samantha Jane Buttrefli-Rayne. Butterfly-Rain has a wonderful ring to it, but the spelling is a little phonetic, and since my first two names are already so very pronounceable, I want a last name that is a little more fun.
So there that is.

On an even happier, more legitimate note, IT'S RAINING IN LOS ANGELES! Mordor is no-more-dor! I love it. Today, I donned my leather jacket and my scarf to buy stationary, then came home, and I'm writing and writing and writing (as evidenced here) and reading Harry Potter for the bazillionth time because I'm super lame.

Bible study tonight; no Jink/Cohen tomorrow - we'll see how that goes. I have a feeling I'm going to miss it more than I realize. But to cheer me up, my dear friend Andrew is flying in from Valparaiso to see me! YAY!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Hebrews 12:1-2

At church on Sunday and in Connect Group on Tuesday, we read, studied, and discussed this passage:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw of everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand at the thrown of God.

For so much of my life, I have always thought of this as another "Be good for Jesus" verse. These are important, yes, but it struck me in a very profound way on Tuesday that this passage is assurance that there is a path marked for me. The race I'm running is not the aimless Hollywood rat race, whose finish line is "the top" with no reward except a long trip back down. My race is one of reward and promise, and of something beyond this life. Sure, I might not see the reward now, but I do have a path, and right now, when I feel so often like I'm floundering, this is the greatest reassurance I can have. I just have to run with perseverance. This might be the hardest part since I have been blessed thus far in my life with immediate successes for hard work. But yesterday, and this past week, I've been given many reasons to persevere - the little water stands along the marathon route, if you will.

Yesterday was my last at Jinks/Cohen. It was sad to go, but I am excited for what the future holds, and I left knowing I have four fantastic, talented, wonderful people in my corner. I learned so much, and I realized that I am doing better out here in LA than I realized. (Thank you, Michael Milberg for pointing that out!) I've made some fantastic contacts, I've got a decent house and car and friend group, one part-time job (hopefully two soon!), and a steadily growing writing portfolio.
Sure, it's lonelier than Chicago, but I'm also no longer in school, no longer meeting people through classes, and no longer in student housing with other people like me.
Slowly but surely, my friends will start to make their way out here, and I will be able to help them - to do the un-Hollywood and make sure they don't have to go through what I've gone through (in terms of loneliness).
Of course, this also means I need to be more disciplined about my writing. I need to set goals and deadlines, and I need to ensure that I have a well-rounded, well-written set of writing samples when I start looking for management in March.
So Gary will be finished in two weeks - one draft. I already know what about half my re-writes are going to be, but I need to focus on getting this damned story OUT THERE.
I had a really good idea for an action-drama, and I'm going to start researching and outlining that this week. Or now, since the other tab is opened on my browser. I'll give more details as I hash it out, but I'm excited.

Here's to a bright future - one marked out for me if I can just persevere.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Smiling and Clapping

Christine, a dear friend of mine, has been doing the loveliest day-to-day photo documentation of her October. I look forward to it every day and so should you.
Visit:

Wednesday afternoon and Thursday are my last "sessions" interning at Jinks/Cohen. It's been an amazing time, but I think I've been there long enough. Altruistically, I'm going to say that it's time to give someone else a chance to seize this opportunity. Realistically, I can't keep working for free and make rent. I'm sad, though. It feels like I'm releasing my last "live" connection to the film industry. While I know that's not the case, it's also one less thing to brighten my week. This will require some ingenuity on my part - keeping myself busy until I find a full-time job or a second (or third) part-time one.
Already, though, I have written a lot, and I've gotten a lot of work done on various projects with other people. I think I needed to let go of the security to really kick my ass in terms of living in the real world.
I found out that one of my closest friends in the LA area will be making his way back to Chicago at the end of the month. This is a bit of a bummer. And when I say a bit, I mean huge. I'm a little nervous. One less friend means one less excuse for me to get out of the house and live a little. One less friend means one more reason to hide and wallow. But again, maybe this ass-kicking is what I need to branch out a bit here in La-La Land.

Speaking of serious ass-kickings, my little sister, the youngest drum major of the RIHS Marching Band, better known as The Pride of Rock Island, has been doing so well in competition. It's so cool to hear about her flourishing in high school. She's so much better at drum majoring and high schooling than I ever was. It will be great to see her come Christmastime when I go home to visit. I miss her so much, but it's such a bright spot every time I get to talk to her about what she's doing.

Saturday, I think I'm going to walk to the top of a mountain. I've been hanging out in the in-betweens for too long.

Monday, October 5, 2009

One Good Week, The Pittsburgh Steelers, and What is this - High School?

I made rent on my own last week - without help from my parents. It felt good. Until I looked at my bank account. And got the energy and water bill. Biggest joke of my life. God love my wasteful roommate, because I sure don't sometimes.

I quit Jinks/Cohen. This week is my last week. I'm calling it the Samantha Garrison reclamation project. Another joke, right? Who knows.
But last week, from Monday to Sunday night, was a really solid week. No idea why.

I love football. The Steelers finally won! Watching them play never ceases to make me smile, even when they lose. There's just something about football and being a fan and being personally connected to something both intelligent and barbaric - something like controlled war. Love it.

Today, I spent the day applying for non-film jobs. It's like being in high school again. "Hey, can I get a job application? I'm a college graduate who can't find a job in the field for which she spent two years and a gazillion dollars. Wanna help me out?" Hooray humility lessons, right?

On the upside, at least my other part time job at the sports bar allows me the chance to watch football and eat chili cheese fries - my favorite!

Enough complaining. Last week really was awesome. From Monday to Sunday, I felt light, happy. And I made progress with the koala!