The Essential New Year's Eve Post

Once again, I've been lazy. That's how I do with these thingies.
I suppose I'll have to buck up and keep you, my loyal followers, entertained and amused.
Anyway, 17 days until I move to Los Angeles. Six days until I hit Chicago again. It's all happening so fast.
Here are my LA updates:
-I have a place to live in Glendale/Burbank with two seemingly awesome roommates.
-I am looking for a car.
-I am applying for jobs for weekends/nights. If anyone has any ideas of where I can apply, let me know.
-If I have Rock Island followers (very doubtful, but mad props if there are), come in and see me. It's the last time you can get delicious ice cream treats that I made.
-My room is in boxes. For all intents and purposes, I think I'm transient.
-No idea what's going to happen or with whom I am staying in Chicago. Possibly Nick, possibly anyone else.
-One of my very best friends, my dearest Teenerz, is a hot mess and I may or may not get to see her again until May. I'm distraught. Teenerz, I will do my best to get to DeKalb. If not, I shall write you and call you and all of that important goo.
-If you know folks in California, let them know I'm coming and send me their contact info. Please. I don't want to be lonely.

So that's about it. If you, dear reader/follower/browser/creepass stalker can help or encourage, keep me posted.
I'll try and do the same.

Now, for the current situation. The moment:
My New Year's plans to sit at home and watch LotR yet again got screwed up by Michaela's having plans (she 14, for goodness sake!), and my parents having plans, and the neighbors coming over. So it looks like it might just be the first one for me. I'm a little upset, but the first one, as I told one of my adoring fans (okay, not fan, but whatever) last night, holds all of life's answers. I watch it every New Year's Eve, and I swear it gives me direction. It's like talking to God indirectly, I've decided.
Does that make Peter, Fran, and Philippa prophets?

I have lost my creativity recently. My ideas have gone away when I need them most, and I think it's because I am afraid. Maybe I need to be inspired. General Patton, my hero, never got scared. Or if something scared him, he met it head on. Rommel, for example, should have scared the living daylights out of any military tactician, but Patton read his book. Those glorious bastards. I need to read something or see something that will make me believe I have ability. Or will at least clear my head enough to let me think. This brain in my head has rallied in mutiny, and it's running away with all my thoughts so that I can't trace it.

I'm out for now. Off to rock out to Guitar Hero until it's appropriate to hear God through Frodo and a little guy named Sam G.

It's Been Far Too Long

I am back in Rock Island. Funny how this is where I get my best writing done. I think it has to do with The River.
But damn it, I am so sad. I think. I'm not actually sure how to feel right now, because I am also ecstatically happy, anxious, excited, and ready for Christmas.
Nick loaned me The Princess Bride and it was wonderful to finish a novel again. And to be so engrossed I could read it in a day. For those few hours, I felt like myself, completely, entirely, and wonderfully. I can't wait to devour another book. Or to talk about this one. I love when people give me books. Honestly, aside from going to the movie theater to watch a movie, there is nothing more connective that I can think of. More genuinely connective. There is an intimacy to words that I cannot even begin to explain because I don't know if anyone else shares my sentiments. And with movies in the theater, there is this shared experience and celebration of imagination. People are silent and still and the collective consciousness prevails for that two hours.
I hate to see relationships that work change. And I just went a changed a lot of them. Changing relationships means that you usually have to express sentimentality, and I am really bad at it. I truly do care about people. I love--yes LOVE--most of my friends. But it's so hard to express that. It's so hard to just walk up to... oh, we'll say Christine or Andy since they were near-successes in the good-bye department and say "I love you and I love that you are in my life, so please stay, even if it means that it will be in a different capacity because I want to stay in yours" without missing the point or sounding clinical. Also, too many people gave me gifts. Give me your time, maybe write a note, but gifts? Oh, they were all charming and wonderful gifts--but it's so uncomfortable and I can't explain why. Let me just say that I did not receive a single gifty-gift for my birthday this year. Just a tattoo. And it was the most perfect birthday ever except the one where I got Chicklet, but giving a living creature as a gift also constitutes not a gifty-gift. Especially when it's Chicklet.
The point is, I am sad and confused and I really just want another night like Friday night, and another night like Saturday night, and maybe Tuesday night as well when I had tea that turned out to be coffee with Jordan. There was something terribly funny about meeting in the middle during all that snow fall.

Fairy tale later today, I PROMISE. I need to get lunch and unpack.